Like this:

So I’m pretty sure all the ladies skipped town quite some time ago, but I’m back, even if I’m alone.   I’m not really interested in trying to revive a blog (if it happens, that’s great – support is always useful for weight loss), but I feel like I need to do this for me – like I need a space to get it all out and this one’s already here.  I dropped off the wagon about a year ago, maybe a little more, but it was for a good reason, I swear.  After 9 long months of trying to get pregnant (yes, I know that’s not really that long, but when you finally decide you want to have a baby, if you’re anything like me, you want to have a baby NOW or even yesterday so it felt really long and there were definitely some unexpected bumps in the road that made it harder on me), there I was, the day before Mother’s Day last year finally seeing something I’ve never seen before on a pregnancy test – a positive.  I had intended to stay on the bandwagon and just make my blogging focus minimizing weight gain while pregnant but if I remember correctly, I think I fell off before the good news… and gained some weight on fertility drugs and some more from stress.  I ate like crap my entire pregnancy, but frankly, due to some serious food aversions, crap was all I could stomach and it really didn’t matter much anyway since I only gained 18 pounds and lost 26 within 3 weeks of giving birth (no, I’m not breastfeeding – just very, very lucky).   Recently though I’ve gained a couple back and my tummy somehow feels larger and wobblier than a few weeks ago so it’s definitely time to do something before this gets out of hand.  I don’t have time to count points or calories or work out a lot – I’m trying to cut myself some slack since I am still just figuring out this whole new-mom thing – but I’m not happy about the weight gain and neither is my husband (with his weight gain from my pregnancy, not mine – he still thinks I’m beautiful) so something must be done.  I’ve already started making healthier dinners, healthier lunches, and I’ve always been good about breakfast.  Snack foods are being replaced with my go to diet snacks – sugar-free jello and 100-calorie treats.  Dinners include more veg, less starch and take-out orders have basically ceased, which is also good for our budget now that I’ve entered the unpaid portion of my maternity leave.  So here I am just doing the best that I can and hoping it works – I’d like to put a starting weight in but I keep forgetting to weigh myself in the morning – I’d like to say a newborn’s distracting me and sometimes that’s true, but part of it is that I don’t want to kill my mood for the day either.  But I’m done with denial and feeling bad about it and I’m recommitting myself to a healthier lifestyle.  Tomorrow, I will weigh in and see where we are.  I’m hoping to keep myself going on here because I need to be accountable to myself, even if it’s only in writing and no one else is reading or part of the wagon.  I’ve dieted enough to know how much I should be eating and what should be going in my mouth so hopefully that’ll be enough and if not, it’ll be easier to do points or something like that once I’m back at work ironically.  In the meantime, the fact that I actually do KNOW better should accomplish something… I hope!

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