So this afternoon I had to say goodbye to my little girl, take a break from my maternity leave, and head upstate to a small town conference center for a mid-level associate retreat for work. Not the funnest thing to do for a few days though it’s amazing how much longer an hour break to do whatever I want feels to me now that I have a newborn, especially when I know it won’t be cut short by another nap gone wrong (particularly awesome since I have a terrible napper) _ feel so luxurious right now in my room, enjoying a cup of coffee and fooling around on the internet (though I do miss her terribly already). There is one major downside to this trip though – it’s heavy on cocktail hours and group three-course meals and I don’t have any say in the menu so I’m really hoping I can try to maintain some semblance of reasonable eating while I’m here… only time will tell though I am going to follow a few simple rules:
1. Generally go for the fish, but do ask how it’s prepared first – you don’t want it to come covered in cream sauce.
2. Be weary of the bread basket.
3. Limit cocktail hours to a glass of wine or two or even three but stay away from margaritas and other super high calorie drinks.
4. Under no circumstances should you finish dessert… and if given a choice, go for the fresh fruit and cream though I bet that’s not an option in upstate NY in February…
Really hoping to make the best choices that I can within the limits I’m operating in. I even brought some 100-calorie packs with me for snacks – you know, instead of having a giant bagel or cookie, which is what I’m sure they’ll have out – par for the course for these types of things. I’m a much better dieter when I’m fully in control of my food. Ah, well… what can you do. Nada. Wish me luck!
Yesterday’s lunch = egg salad on a croissant, with a small black and white cookie (I don’t even really like them but they’re sooo much sugar and I needed a pick-me-up)… not a great choice, obviously.
Yesterday’s dinner = cereal with skim milk to make up for the horrendous lunch.
Today’s lunch = hot dog… not a bad choice calorie-wise but probably more fat than I really need in my diet. Good thing I’m not taking Alli.
Today’s snack = skim milk and only 1/2 of a Hershey’s bar… learning how to exercise portion control is a very good thing. If I can restrain myself from having the other half after dinner, I’ll be quite pleased with myself.
Today’s dinner = grilled chicken with tabbouleh and hummus
It’s been up and down over here, even over the course of the day but I’m still starving so I’m still hoping I’m doing something right and I am continuing to try to force myself to make better choices and that is something to be proud of.
I had take-out for lunch yesterday. It was Chinese food, the General to be specific, and it was very good. I should not have had it but at least I enjoyed it. Does it matter that I got brown rice and didn’t eat it all? Probably not since what I did eat was battered, fried, and mostly dark meat. Sigh. At least dinner was healthy… self-flagellation over. Time to move on.
I was again planning to write about my exercise plans, but a certain little somebody kept me up quite a bit last night and I’m exhausted. And this morning when I picked her up, she had the audacity to laugh at me. Good thing she’s so cute
Also, the housekeeper shows up this afternoon so I have to do my weekly pre-clean, which is really just picking stuff up around the house, i.e., putting clothes, toys, and papers where they belong since I’d rather have my housekeeper focus on scrubbing the grime than putting our coats away. My husband thinks I’m silly for doing this, but I noticed the other day that the windows were done last week and that’s exactly the type of thing I want my housekeeper to focus on – when I notice them, they’re like little presents instead of aggravations… you know, like when I trip over another certain somebody’s clown-size sneakers that should not be in the middle of the floor… sigh.
So I was going to write about exercising with a newborn today, which is fitting since we do “Mommy and Me Yoga” on Thursdays, but since it helps me stay focused to post daily, I’ll save that topic for tomorrow. Instead, since I’m a little short on time today, I wanted to share my love of some of the new diet sodas out there. Yes, I know that diet soda is probably not very good for me – so many chemicals, artificial this and that, and may have some undesirable effects like encouraging diabetes and insulin resistance – but the research isn’t super clear and I love it and it’s no calories and I like my water and all, but I can only have so much water, especially after 9 months of being pregnant and drinking lots of water from 32 weeks on to keep contractions at bay following a scare (I must’ve overdone it on the water since my little girl was actually late and had to be evicted by the pitocin fairy). Anyway, I discovered this while pregnant and no, I’m not ashamed that I could not kick the diet soda habit while pregnant. When you can’t eat or smell chicken or fish and spend months feeling queasy, you need a few things to hold on to… like Cherry Coke Zero. Brought me back to my Cherry Coke drinking high school days – you know when I was thin as a rail and drank regular pop and didn’t gain an ounce because I was so athletic and thin. Yeah, those were good times and yet I still thought I was fat. Ah, the foolishness of youth – to be that weight again! Cherry Coke Zero is not alone in the diet cherry soda business – there’s also Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi, equally good since I don’t discriminate between Coke and Pepsi – just anti-RC cola, Harry Caray Cola (can you tell where I’m from… maybe I should use the word pop again :)), and basically all generic colas. And in my household Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi wins the day. Why? It’s not the hubs – he likes his soda cherry-free. Nope, simply because it’s available on Fresh Direct, my local online grocer, and since I don’t have a car, all heavy things get delivered. Yum, totally hits the spot.
Yeah, the title pretty much says it all… I’m hungry and sugar-free jello only gets you so far. It has been a few days already though so I think I’m nearing the end of what I like to call, the “diet hunger.” Yesterday I promised myself that I would weigh myself today and weigh myself I did, so here it is, my starting weight:
Starting weight: 149 lbs
Goal weight: ideally, 125 lbs but realistically, I’d be pretty psyched to reach 130 lbs
Guess this means Wednesdays will be my weigh-in days. Maybe watching the Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights will spark the desire to get a last-chance workout in before Wednesday morning
I must admit it’s better than the last time I weighed myself, so I’m hoping my healthy eating efforts of the last week or so are already paying off. I’m walking around hungry so I must be doing something right, right Don’t worry, I’m not starving myself – it’s very much the usual, I just started a diet and am watching my portions fake hunger. At this weight, I’m only 1 lb above my post-partum weight loss so I’m feeling pretty good about that. Though I am irritated by my dinner. We had hot dogs for dinner last night with sweet potato oven fries. I only had one dog so it wasn’t that bad a meal for me actually. (The hubs had two, so not a great meal for him, but it was quick and what we had so there it is…) Anyway, I bought whole wheat hot dog buns because I figure the introduction of whole grains is a good thing for both of us. As I’m taking out the buns to warm them, I notice the package says “17% larger than ordinary hot dog buns.” I was furious. I mean seriously, only people on a diet or those trying to live healthier lifestyles are buying whole wheat hot dog buns and believe me, none of those people want a larger hot dog bun so I’m very annoyed at Arnold’s right now as Wonder regular buns probably would’ve been fewer calories! This is one of the follies of Internet grocery shopping – the nutritional info is definitely there but I don’t always read it – involves too many clicks and I’m doing groceries on the Internet to save time as it is, but in the store, I would’ve checked and compared a few labels and ended up the lowest calorie hot dog bun that also had a decent amount of fiber. I always read labels in the store, dieting or not. Oh well, lesson learned – must read labels online too! Also, next time I buy hot dogs for dinner, I already informed my husband that they will be chicken dogs and not Nathan’s natural casing. We can treat ourselves when we’re happy with our weight! He was less than thrilled, but knows it must be done.
So I’m pretty sure all the ladies skipped town quite some time ago, but I’m back, even if I’m alone. I’m not really interested in trying to revive a blog (if it happens, that’s great – support is always useful for weight loss), but I feel like I need to do this for me – like I need a space to get it all out and this one’s already here. I dropped off the wagon about a year ago, maybe a little more, but it was for a good reason, I swear. After 9 long months of trying to get pregnant (yes, I know that’s not really that long, but when you finally decide you want to have a baby, if you’re anything like me, you want to have a baby NOW or even yesterday so it felt really long and there were definitely some unexpected bumps in the road that made it harder on me), there I was, the day before Mother’s Day last year finally seeing something I’ve never seen before on a pregnancy test – a positive. I had intended to stay on the bandwagon and just make my blogging focus minimizing weight gain while pregnant but if I remember correctly, I think I fell off before the good news… and gained some weight on fertility drugs and some more from stress. I ate like crap my entire pregnancy, but frankly, due to some serious food aversions, crap was all I could stomach and it really didn’t matter much anyway since I only gained 18 pounds and lost 26 within 3 weeks of giving birth (no, I’m not breastfeeding – just very, very lucky). Recently though I’ve gained a couple back and my tummy somehow feels larger and wobblier than a few weeks ago so it’s definitely time to do something before this gets out of hand. I don’t have time to count points or calories or work out a lot – I’m trying to cut myself some slack since I am still just figuring out this whole new-mom thing – but I’m not happy about the weight gain and neither is my husband (with his weight gain from my pregnancy, not mine – he still thinks I’m beautiful) so something must be done. I’ve already started making healthier dinners, healthier lunches, and I’ve always been good about breakfast. Snack foods are being replaced with my go to diet snacks – sugar-free jello and 100-calorie treats. Dinners include more veg, less starch and take-out orders have basically ceased, which is also good for our budget now that I’ve entered the unpaid portion of my maternity leave. So here I am just doing the best that I can and hoping it works – I’d like to put a starting weight in but I keep forgetting to weigh myself in the morning – I’d like to say a newborn’s distracting me and sometimes that’s true, but part of it is that I don’t want to kill my mood for the day either. But I’m done with denial and feeling bad about it and I’m recommitting myself to a healthier lifestyle. Tomorrow, I will weigh in and see where we are. I’m hoping to keep myself going on here because I need to be accountable to myself, even if it’s only in writing and no one else is reading or part of the wagon. I’ve dieted enough to know how much I should be eating and what should be going in my mouth so hopefully that’ll be enough and if not, it’ll be easier to do points or something like that once I’m back at work ironically. In the meantime, the fact that I actually do KNOW better should accomplish something… I hope!
The weigh in stuff:
Weight change since last week: +.2 lbs
Total weight change to date: -17.8 lbs
I’m sad to say that this is probably my last post here. It’s a wee bit lonely, and I can’t keep it up by myself. I really enjoyed it while it lasted though – thanks ladies!
The weigh in stuff:
Weight change since last week: -1.6 lbs
Total weight change to date: -18 lbs
So look! I’m down 1.6!!! Cuz I realized I needed to get my big, fat butt back onto Weight Watchers. Since it was less than 6 months, I could re-join without the sign-up fee and they still had all of my recipes and favorites and things (thank goodness!) Strange thing happened though…when I entered my weight in – it calculated that I have 2 points less a day! Gah! Hm. Perhaps that’s why I had hit a plateau before. . . was I supposed to reevaluate so they’d slowly remove points? Note to self: next time you hit a plateau, check that…
There’s good news/bad news as well. The good news is that I didn’t go over my weekly points – yeah! The bad news is that I started 3 days into the week…so I ate through three extra days worth of weekly points. Gonna have to curb those carb cravings.
Weight – 1.4 pounds – Woohoo!
I have the best hubby in the world! He is not a morning person at all, but he has agreed to take care of our very lively 2 1/2 year olds a few mornings a week so I can go and exercise. Of course there is a payoff for him – I come home on an endorphin high and feeling good about myself in general. It’s true what they say about how Mama being happy is good for the whole family. It’s amazing how good it feels to start the day out having worked out. The hard part is always getting my butt out of bed, but once I do that I get to feel powerful and proud, plus I’m losing weight.
Making all of this even better is the fact that I’ve found an amazing gym. The staff are great – physical therapist spent 2+ hours with me my first time to fully assess where I’m at and help me figure out where I need to go to get where I want to be safely. There’s always someone around to help if you need help. People are friendly and normal. Plus, it’s only 2 minutes from my house. It’s an awesome place.
The food is still a challenge. I have gotten back to writing everything down, but that hasn’t stopped me from eating junk. I am contemplating joining WW on-line and ooh, I don’t know, maybe planning ahead? I don’t want to do anything too rash though :o)
My goals for this week are to get to the gym at least 3 times and to be in bed (lights out!) by 10:30.